Horrible time for saving

Amount spent: $274.00
What: Taxes

Amount spent: $26.09
What: CO Bigelow products

Amount spent: $63.37
What: Gap jeans

Amount spent: $13.40
What: Gas

Amount spent: $19.48
What: Groceries

So let's just go ahead and say the budget is already blown for March. It's not even over, let me tell you. I know most of this is pretty inexcusable...I know, $63 for Gap jeans when you're supposed to be on a budget? And what's with this shopping at CO Bigelow?! They're never good for the wallet, so why did you allow yourself to wander into their midst?

I honestly don't know what to say for myself. I had to pay Uncle Sam $274 because I apparently didn't pay enough in federal taxes this year. I'm getting $100 or so back in state refunds, but I clearly won't break even this year. My only explanation for CO Bigelow was that I needed new face cream. Ok? Plain and simple. I have dry skin that is also very sensitive, and it's winter. Under these circumstances, the aforementioned skin becomes very painful and it's damn near impossible to live with such unhealthy-ness chipping away at your beautiful face. Impossible, I tell you! Now, my old skin treatment used to come from Bath & Body Works. It was $20 but I was OK with that. I had soy, which meant it was "all natural," thereby containing no harsh chemicals that would turn my face into a giant tomato. It was also heavy enough to moisturize my parchment dry skin in winter's harshest months. Well it was spring break, and I drove to my neighborhood Bath & Body Works to buy a replacement jar because I was running dangerously low. Unfortunately, I was informed that they had stopped carrying that line. However, I might find it at CO Bigelow, at the mall.

Well you can imagine the conundrum that I now faced. Should I walk down to Target and find a replacement face cream from the budget rack, a mystery substance with the high probability of being yet another disappointment. As much as I hated to be high maintence, I knew I need to find that cream or a replacement akin in quality. So I went to the mall that night, with my brothers as company. I told them we were merely popping into CO Bigelow, finding a lotion and leaving, and they seemed OK with it. At CO Bigelow, I was informed that they had stopped making my face cream altogether. However, the store had such a cornucopia of specialized lotions, I knew I could find an suitable alternative. And I did. I also found a lovely lip balm with shea butter and almond oil that made your lips feel like satin. It was $5. The lotion was $20.

Now we were in the mall. I felt bad heading for the door, so I asked if my brothers wanted to do a bit of shopping. We headed to the GAP. Now I've never bought anything at the GAP, ever. However I had made a mistake that night. I had made the mistake of wearing a pair of jeans that were much too small for me. They clung to my legs and made my ass look much too unnatural, but they were all I had clean so I wore them. At home, I never thought much about how these jeans didn't fit me...I didn't realize that I had gained a few pounds since I last shimmied into these jeans and the junk simply couldn't fit in the trunk anymore. But at the mall, your entire appearance comes in sharp perspective. On parade for all the chic to see, you begin to recognize your body's every flaw, your bad hair and your horrible wardrobe choices. That's why the mall is so dangerous. Feeling so bad about yourself, the only balm for this wound is to shop for a NEW identity, and hey there are countless stores at your disposal.

That's the way I felt walking into the GAP. I realized how much my jeans didn't fit...I realized that many of my jeans didn't fit...and I realized how much I needed NICE, grown-up jeans. Jeans that ran with even sizes, instead of the 5's and 7's I had been fiddling with in the junior section of Kohls for years. 5's and 7's never quite fit me correctly, but they were cheap. So I always disregarded the more expensive, even-sized jeans of the mall and choose their trashy cousins instead. With a rush of indignant rage, I realized, standing in the GAP, how much I had short-changed myself over the years. How much I had sacrificed my own dignity (look at me now, walking around in these ridiculously tight jeans!) for price. Well no more. I walked right up to a table with boot cut, dark washed jeans, immediately found a size 6 and didn't look back. Luckily, I only bought one pair of jeans, but the damage was done. On the flip size, I now have this great pair of jeans that fits me perfectly and that will last for years to come. Hey, it might even turn out to be a wise investment.

The other purchases were out of necessity. And hey, I almost stayed in my grocery budget. And I'm still doing OK on gas. Unfortunately, there is trouble ahead. I was accepted to NYU's Summer Publishing Institute and while my parents have wrote the $500 deposit check, I will writing a check to NYU housing in the upcoming days. Stay tuned.