Last day in the Midwest

So it's the last day before I ship off to New York City, and I feel .... strangely .... nothing. Hmm. I should be excited--which I am, in my own way. I should also be nervous--which I am as well. Instead, those two emotions have collided within my chest to produce a supernova of apathy. Besides going to the garden store with my mom, watching Recker & Boerger deliver our new fridge, packing and watching TV, there has been little to mark this day as special. That's ok. Excitement would probably wash over me like a whole ton of surf water.

Joel is in Ann Arbor today with a co-worker; I haven't heard much from him but I'm not surprised. He's probably enjoying himself, although he did send me a text message saying the University of Michigan is beautiful. If Joel is offered a job at GM or anywhere else in the Detroit auto industry after he graduates, we'll most likely be moving there next year. That means our graduate school options have shifted from Ohio to Michigan, which isn't all bad. Joel's looking for his masters in aerospace engineering, and U of M caters to a lot of Detroit engineers. Plus, Michigan also offers one of the best MFA programs in Creative Writing in the country--nice. I haven't officially decided that an MFA is the way to go for grad school, but it's looking better as I try to meld my two undergraduate majors (Journalism and English Lit). Plus, if I go into an MFA program I'll definately have to kick start the old writing habits, which have laid pretty dormant these past four years. That shouldn't be a problem...perhaps New York will give me some inspiration.

Speaking of New York, I should probably outline my travel plans because the next time I unfold my computer, I will be at NYU. Things will get off to an early start tomorrow morning: I will probably wake up around 4 a.m. and leave for the airport around 4:45. My plane leaves at 7, landing in New York around 9:12 (according to Delta). Like I've said, this is my second time flying and my first flying alone, so hopefully the incredible depth of my maturity (haha) will silence my nerves. God knows I can't afford to panic tomorrow. When I panic, I tend to freeze and become weepy, so heaven forbid the off chance something goes wrong.

I then plan on taking a cab to La Guardia to my dorm, the Palladium on E. 14th Street. NYU is roughly situated in Greenwich Village, but Palladium is on the northern edge of campus, putting me on the borders of Greenwich Villach and Midtown. The building is quite huge, however browsing on Google Maps yesterday revealed a Trader Joes in the first floor of the building, as well as a Walgreens down the street. The comforts of home never leave you. I then check in, pick up my NYU ID, and unpack in whatever room I've been assigned. Sometime that morning/early afternoon, I need to walk down to Union Station (a few blocks down the road) to buy my Metro Card. Around 2, a bunch of Summer Publishing students will be meeting in the Palladium lobby to head down to the Woolworth building (where we'll be taking our classes) together. This will be good, considering it'll be my first time on an NYC subway and I definately don't want to get lost there.

I'm almost finished with packing, though; I have almost everything crammed into my one suitcase, carry-on and new hobo-bag/purse. I need to find my small flashlight in case of an emergency, though, and pack the few items I'll need from the bathroom. My father just reminded me to bring my anti-bacterial hand sanitizer as well--can't be picking up the swine flu, you know. Haha. (Seriously, he said that.)

Thoughts during procrastination

Actually, I should probably be doing LESS thinking and more DOING right about now. Procrastinating a mere four days before leaving for New York University's Summer Publishing Institute probably isn't such a great idea, considering I still have boatloads of homework to do. And packing. As well as the intense "psych-ing up" process that has to occur before such a drastic life change.

Perhaps it's because the way I cope with change is to ignore it, but work has been moving pretty slowly around here--even though my plane leaves 7 a.m. Sunday morning. I could chalk it up to all the mental preparation I've been doing: mentally going through the whole "flying to NYC by myself" thing, practicing my cab-getting skills, memorizing the layout of LaGuardia airport. And all that is for simply getting to the dorm! I'm actually not as nervous about the day-to-day of the Institute itself. Everyone is meeting in the lobby of Palladium (the dorm where we're staying) an hour before orientation so that we can all take the subway to the Woolworth building together. And then, for all the classes, I'll be with the same group of people--some of which (I'm hoping) will also be new to the big city. What does make me anxious are all the things I'll have to do myself: flying, negotiating the airport, finding a way to 140 E. 14th Street. For many my age, these things are second nature. However this is only the second time I've flown, the first time by myself and this is, by far, the biggest city I've ever been to. Call me country mouse, but I know I'm going to be dumbfounded by what I'll find in New York City this summer.

The problem is, I am determined to succeed at the Institute. This means taking everything new in stride, projecting an aura of confidence, and believing that the world of professional publishing is something a small-town girl from Ohio can not only handle, but kick everybody's ass along the way. I want to impress these big-city editors and prove to them that this IS the career for me. To do this, I really need to get over my insecurities. I try to tell myself that I am fulfilling a lifelong dream in coming to New York City--especially to study book publishing (my dream career besides being an award-winning writer). Hopefully I'll make some friends while I'm there, go sightseeing, go out a few times, learn a few things so that I'm more tempting to future employers, and experience everything I've ever dreamed about New York.

Getting there is still a ways away, though. These past few days have been ... eventful ... but I definately haven't accomplished everything I could. Tuesday I did my manuscript editing assignment, sending that in on Blackboard. It wasn't too hard considering its resembled the critiques we did in my journalism, narrative non-fiction, capstone. Today, I got some important errands out of the way, things I needed to do before leaving: got my hair cut, got my glasses tightened, bought make-up, bought a new water bottle, spent some time with Kim. Tomorrow, I really need to finish the rest of my homework. It's actually not too difficult except for the fact that's it's creative: I have to come up with one "terrific" idea for a new magazine launch, and then five ideas for potential book launches. Yikes. I guess I'll really sit down and brainstorm tomorrow. I also need to do laundry, pack and organize everything I'll need for six weeks in New York.

The money situation has been stressful, though. Like I told Kim tonight, I get anxious when I don't have a steady paycheck. I spent quite a bit of money today, but that's because haircuts and good make-up is so expensive. I've been DSW twice and (miraculously) didn't buy anything, despite the $10 gift certificate burning a hole in my purse. I think I've convinced my mom to make a I'll-miss-you purchase, since I would really like new brown sandals (the Old Navy flip flops just aren't cutting it anymore). We'll see about that. Other than that, I've been holed up at home for three weeks now, wasting post-graduation time doing puzzles, reading Stephen King, watching way too much Law & Order and HGTV ... the usual. I've also been anxious about Joel up at GM. GM is expected to go into bankruptcy next week and Joel is almost certain he'll be laid off. Hopefully this isn't true (his co-op position hasn't been cut yet!), but if it is, at least he'll be home this summer. God, I keep holding out for the stockholders to save the company at the last second. I only hope GM comes out of this alive; Joel really loves it there and it would be simply fantastic for him to have a job offer waiting after graduation next year.

Well the times, they are a-changin'

I'm thinking of changing things around here on the Penny Foolish blog. While the spending idea is great, I don't think I have the stamina to keep it up. What I do have is lots of silly thoughts and ideas for a regular blog, and so I think Penny Foolish will become something new entirely. Hopefully it won't become as trivial or personal as my Xanga of yore, but I hope to expand to new topics and discussions of the world around me as a recent college grad. Of course, money will play into this worldview as I will be poor, thereby keeping my title as Penny Foolish.

I'm sorry if anybody actually reads this blog and enjoyed its previous format. I promise to continue talking about my financial situation in depth, as it still pertains to my life, but hopefully you'll enjoy the other thoughts bouncing around inside my head as well.